Didn't we just buy groceries?

Day 18, not the assignment

Today's topic did not mesh with my brain, but I did learn a lot reading up online. It was really interesting, but instead of poetry let's talk about the supermarket.

I am a terrible shopper. Really. I bargain shop everything and completely overanalyze. I look at price per ounce, sure, but only in comparison with fat content, fiber and nutritional content. Edmund has walked away while I was examining crackers, more than once.

And still, after all my efforts, I still end up leaving feeling like I spend too much money for too little food. It's frustrating, but I'm trying to be better. I know that part of the problem is that I really don't cook. I have little self-confidence in the area, and I've lived alone in my tiny apartment for the last few years. I don't need to set fires for my own personal benefit. Now that Edmund is here with me, I feel like we should find more nutritious, cost-conscious ways to eat together. Unfortunately, the cost of additional fire extinguishers is never factored into nutritious and cost-conscious meals.

I'm not kidding. Fire making mac'n'cheese? Check. Small white scars on my left arm from attempts at frying okra? Check. Shit, I set my goddamn bangs on fire on Monday. To say that I have little confidence in my cooking is an understatement. I want to be wrapped in flame-retardant before stepping near a stove. I really want to be able to cook, I just want to do it without ending up in the ER.

Unfortunately, what I'm trying to say is that I'm my mother's daughter. I have never known anyone else who received third degree burns making soup. Or went to the ER (children in tow) for mostly-severed fingers more than once. The creepy thing is, she knows how dangerous the kitchen is for us, and yet she still gives me more cookbooks and small kitchen appliances than I could ever use. I think she might be trying to kill me.

So that leaves Edmund and I in limbo on the dinner front. Strangely enough, limbo is also the bulk foods aisle. I'm trying to avoid the bad fat in the sesame sticks we both love, but only some real divinity could save me from macadamia nuts. My diatician has told me monounsaturateds are all a-okay fats, so the logic in my brain says "yes, macadamia nuts." My heart stops at the $12.99/lb price tag. I mean, I'm not going to buy a whole pound...but why even put them out at a price like that? Between the high fat (whatever kind it may be) and the price I feel guilty every time, but I love them.

So we always end up in bulk foods, and I'm always trying to run away without that bag of macadamias, but I fail. At least the guilt always send me running back to lowfat cottage cheese and veggie juice.