Falling down

Day 24

It's not just my eyes that are heavy. My shoulders, feet, hands and chest feel like weights chained to my soul. It's almost as if teenage girls really are some type of succubi. 10 and a half hours on my feet isn't really such a long day, but for some reason 10 and a half hours trying to teach babysitting/CPR to teenage girls is like wading through the amazon with a semi strapped to my back. Apparently I looked so bad that after I got Jessie up into her chair this evening, her mom sent me home. Apparently I was pitiful.

I'm not quite sure how I'm still awake, but I won't be for long. This may not be a great post, but it's all I have in me at the moment.

Adventure?

Day 19

First and foremost, happy Juneteenth. Juneteenth actually made my morning. I was driving to work, half asleep as usual as I pass the park, when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Horses! Just, you know, hanging out. In the park. My jaw dropped. It was such a beautiful little picture that all of the surrounding preparations and chaos were lost to me. Just beautiful bays, coats shining, hangin' in the park. This scene was also like an old hallucanation of mine, one where there's a horse running next to my car, but whatever. My usual morning grumpiness was killed by that unexpected joyful moment.

Perhaps my early morning joy is what changed the rest of my day in interesting and adventurous ways. I agreed to be on the news for the Red Cross, tomorrow, at 8:40 in the morning. This is not the kind of thing I would normally go into willingly (the early time being a strong reason I would normally be unavailable), but today I said "sure, no problem." Perhaps ponies kill my brain cells. I have not ever been interviewed for the news before, especially not for the nonprofit I work for. Scary? yes. What's scarier is that I also agreed to another news appearence, for different health and safety programs...starting at 5:45 Monday morning. I have no idea how I am even going to make sense at 5:45. How am I going to wake up at 5:00? Is it possible to drive while mostly asleep? Will they notice if I start drooling?

Ugh. It's going to be bad. There's all kinds of things I am supposed to remember to talk about, and I'm going to forget. I won't just be nervous, I'm feeling a little closer to terrified. I just have to keep reminding myself that if I totally blow it, I won't have to do it again, I'll have tried, and only those particular insane known as "morning people" will see my failure. For the record, not that there's anything wrong with morning people, I just don't understand it. On the other hand, if I shine like a bright little star, I will have exceeded my own expectations and succeeded at something new.

So here goes nothing. Wish me luck!