Sunday, September 6, 2009

Why is this Movie Title Misspelled?

Day 6

So I'm not feeling today's topic. Instead, let me tell about Inglourious Basterds. Please do not pay to see this movie. Don't even pay to rent it. If you really feel like you have to see it, wait until it comes out on DVD and one of your friends buys or burns it. Really.

I walked out in the first scene. It starts with one of the Landa character interview scenes that Tarantino got way too much praise for. Much like rest of the movie, it was drawn out beyond any reasonable limit in the vain hope of amping up the tension. I didn't feel the need to sit through it, so I went out to smoke. I'm thankful I did. The film flashes back to the only important part of the scene later (if you do watch it later, this means you can skip ahead guilt-free), and going outside allowed me to witness something far more amusing.

I get that the Alamo pretty must closes up shop after the last screenings begin, so I double checked with the staff that it was okay if I stepped outside and propped the door open with my shoe. As always, the staff were totally nice about it, and one even agreed that he hadn't liked the movie either.

So there I am, standing in front of the Alamo South Lamar smoking and wearing one sandal, when she stumbles up. Oh, she's real classy. Early/mid forties, dyed brown hair, WHITE SLACKS (a crime against everything), and heels she probably had an easier time in three glasses of wine ago paint as accurate a picture I can give you. So, she hollers my way mid-stumble, telling me that I'm staff so I must be able to let her in. Why do people always assume I'm working? I'm not very comfortable now, because she's obviously drunk and the theater is closed. Unfortunately, it's my shoe propping open the door. After explaining to her that I'm not staff, theater's closed, they aren't going to sell her a ticket,etc., I remove my sandal and let her in. I wasn't left with much of choice seeing as she was determined to get in, I didn't work there, and my plans for Saturday night did not include getting bulldozed by a forty-something drunk in WHITE SLACKS while only wearing one shoe.

In drunkie goes. From just outside I can hear the whole exchange. She should have been at the theater an hour ago to meet her friends, but she was taking the bus, so it's not her fault. No, she doesn't know what movie they were going to see, no she can't reach them by cell (they're in a movie), and she is supposed to get a ride home with them, so she can't leave. The staff are nice, but firm, and after a lot of huffing and puffing she asks if she can use the bathroom. We can all see drunkie's thought process as she walks down the hall. At about this time, I come back inside and apologize to the staff. They are again super nice, and joke with me about she's about to get kicked out for sneaking into a movie.

We walk around the corner, and there she is: waving her arms, stomping her feet, shrilling like a grackle. "I demand to speak with your manager!" she squawks. The staff member walking with me smiles and raises his eyebrows at me before picking up his pace. I walk by laughing and on into the theater, where I will be bored and disinterested for at least another hour.

How sad is that? WHITE SLACKS drunkie was the most interesting thing about going to see Inglourious Basterds.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Serial Lover

Day 5

Baby, what do you mean they don't love you? They're idiots, fools who can't see a good thing when it's standing right in front of them. Don't listen to them baby, you know I've always loved you.

I know, I hear you. So I've been an inconsistent lover. So I choose you or neglect you based on my whims, so what? You know I always miss you when you aren't there. You've seen me rage at others' work when they leave you out. What fools! I don't want to have to think about whether or not options 3 and 4 are combined or separate in the list 1, 2, 3 and 4. If you were in that list, I would never have to question it.

You know you're great baby, so get out there with your head held high. They're stupid not to want you. Baby, I may run off and disappoint you from time to time, but you know I can't stay away. I'll always come back.

Friday, September 4, 2009

What do you mean you haven't seen District 9?

Day 4

I'm not sure if I loved District 9 or Up more this summer, but District 9 is certainly more interesting and possibly more controversial. I'm not going to give anything away, but I really think you should go see it.

From the first shot, my disbelief was suspended. The gritty, documentary style of the opening scenes present this alternate present day South Africa has a completely real place. Now, as you may have heard, some viewers in South Africa were disappointed with how their country was portrayed in the film. Many are concerned that viewers unfamiliar with South Africa will take this portrayal of South Africa as a true reflection of how it exists today. I feel that now that we've discussed this, you will all be able to go into this film and distinguish fantasy from reality. In an age of secret prisons and homeless camps, I have no trouble imagining that the presented situation could have happened in any number of places. It's also important to remember that this is an alternate reality.

Beyond the setting and style of the film, I loved the protagonist, Wikus, as played by Sharlto Copley. Wikus felt real, and I loved his imperfections. His path to the right thing is better for self preservation, betrayal and all of the very human impulses that could very easily play out in such a situation. If he had been entirely altruistic, the story would be ruined.

Now, I really don't want to give anything away, because I want your experience with this movie to be as fresh and exciting as mine was. What I will say is that you can see Peter Jackson in the violence...early Peter Jackson. People aren't mauled or torn apart, they explode like jello and it's kind of funny. Still, even though I laughed, it didn't damage the experience for me. I hope you'll be able to agree.

The last thing I want to mention is that the audio engineers who worked on this film deserve an academy award for their amazing work. Perhaps while you watch, you too will be struck by the fantastic language they created for the alien species.

Don't wait for the sequel, it can't possibly compare to this exciting, enjoyable, great movie. Just go see it already.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Welcome to the Hotel Concussion

Day 3

Standing on the sienna stained concrete floor, the blue paint on the ladder really stands out. It seems vertical because of the steep incline and there's a large chip in the second step. To get to bed each night I climb the ladder. The first step feels too low at only ten inches off the ground, and it's tempting to skip it. Don't. The base of the ladder isn't connected to the floor, so excessive movement will cause it to shake. Grip the ladder with your right hand and step up with your left foot. Keep your feet on the black grip-strips on each step; the paint is slick.

It isn't always necessary to use both hands, but keep that right hand on the side of the ladder. The 2x6 lumber is solid and comforting in the face of the limited two point connection at the top. Take each of the seven steps one at a time and pay attention. I'm currently sporting a set of matching black bruises on my thigh due to inattention.

Once on the fourth step there will be tiny tabby paw swiping with extended claws from the left. Staying to the right will bypass this adorable threat. At this point the four foot extension of the right side of the ladder will become a railing. It's still important to keep holding it. Once at the top of the ladder, the ceiling is less than six feet high and it falls at a sharp angle to the left. Be sure to stay bent over. Falling eight and a half feet due to a head-ceiling collision completely ruins the entire exercise of climbing the ladder in the first place.

Welcome to the Hotel Concussion.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I Must Not Tell Lies

Day 2

I've been staring at the blinking cursor for the entire evening. The words won't come. When I read today's topic I immediately knew what I wanted to write about, what I oppose most. The single greatest crime humanity has committed against itself. Unfortunately, I cannot be an advocate for religion.

Sure, there are plenty of arguments for faith: comfort, community, genuine belief, activism, moral guidance, and last but not least, Pascal's Wager. Alas, there is an argument against each. A better argument. And that's without even touching on the ongoing effects of this crime: misinformation, the castration of scientific exploration, genocide, the many crusades, murder, child abuse, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual mutilation, the whole scale of hate crimes, the suppression of women, withholding education, and the massive unending conflict over a tiny piece of land where questionable stories supposedly took place.

No, I'm not saying that religion is solely responsible for all crime. I am simply listing crimes here which have been and still are committed in the name of a god, with the support of a religion and/or inside a religion itself.

So you see, it wouldn't just be writing in favor of something I disagree with, it would be flat out lying. I would love to go into the argument in detail, but Christopher Hitchens has done it better that I ever could in his fantastic book, God is not Great. Regardless of what you believe, you should read this book. You may feel like faith gives you something special, but wouldn't your energy be better spent giving something special to the world?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I Intend to Win --Day 1

My intentions haven't changed since the last 30DoW, so here's what I posted last time:

My intentions for June (and now September) are not particularly creative, but therein lies the possibility. This month my goals are consistency, growth and adventure. Consistency is first. I want to write consistently. It's kind of the basis for this project, no surprises there. I want to write a quality submission every day. Simple.

Growth is just as obvious. I want to grow as a writer and a person. What other purpose is there to life?

I want this project to be an adventure. An opportunity to try new things, discover new styles and voices, to play with possibility.

These are my goals, and without any segue let's move on to the second part of this assignment. I'm no more a writer than any other person. I have a degree in literature with a minor in creative writing. I write driveling nonsense to myself in journals, and I once was a teenage girl (I've written poetry). I love young adult literature, comic books and sci fi and fantasty. I have no ambitions to publish.

Okay, now on to more important business. I'm not really thinking about writing today because I'm having an anxiety attack about our game tonight against the Fucking Nihilist Eagles of New Brohemia. It's at 8 on field 11 at kreig fields. I'm nervous about playing well, even though I'm not any kind of golden glove player. I'm nervous about hitting, which I always am. I'm nervous about losing. Still, It will be great. I'm going to stop writing now so that I can close my eyes and vizualize our win. I'm going get ready and do my best. The game will be fun no matter what happens, but I'm not going to give up. If you asked anyone on the team what they intend today, I think we would all give the same answer.

I intend to win.